It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in Londo n once.

Robert Benchley royalty

Quotes you may love

A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being m ade the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.

Robert Benchley childhood experts

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Robert Benchley egotism

There are several natural phenomena which I shall have to have explained to me before I can keep on going as a resident member of the human race. One is the metamorphosis which hats and suits undergo exactly one week after their purchase, whereby they are changed from smart, intensely becoming articles of apparel into something children use when they want to "dress up like daddy."

Robert Benchley clothing

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

Robert Benchley home childhood

For most visitors to Manhattan, both foreign and domestic, New York is the Shrine of the Good Time. "I don't see how you stand it, " they often say to the native New Yorker who has been sitting up past his bedtime for a week in an attempt to tire his guest out. "It's all right for a week or so, but give me the little old home town when it comes to living." And, under his breath, the New Yorker endorses the transfer and wonders himself how he stands it.

Robert Benchley cities and city life