I would rather be the child of a mother who has all the inner conflicts of the human being than be mothered by someone for whom al l is easy and smooth, who knows all the answers, and is a stranger to doubt.

D.W. Winnicott mothers and sons abilities

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Unthinking people will often try to teach you how to do the things which you can do better than you can be taught to do them. If y ou are sure of all this, you can start to add to your value as a mother by learning the things that can be taught, for the best of our civilization and culture offers much that is of value, if you can take it without loss of what comes to you naturally.

D.W. Winnicott self-reliance abilities mothers

If mothers are told to do this or that or the other,... they lose touch with their own ability to act.... Only too easily they fee l incompetent. If they must look up everything in a book, they are always too late even when they do the right things, because the right things have to be done immediately. It is only possible to act at exactly the right point when the action is intuitive or by instinct, as we say. The mind can be brought to bear on the problem afterwards.

D.W. Winnicott parent education general mothers abilities

If you could choose your parents,... we would rather have a mother who felt a sense of guilt--at any rate who felt responsible, an d felt that if things went wrong it was probably her fault--we'd rather have that than a mother who immediately turned to an outside thing to explain everything, and said it was due to the thunderstorm last night or some quite outside phenomenon and didn't take responsibility for anything.

D.W. Winnicott mothers as bearers of blame guilt abilities

However, it can't be helped; mothers, if they do their job properly, are the representatives of the hard, demanding world and it i s they who gradually introduce reality which is so often the enemy of impulse. There is anger with mother and hatred is somewhere even when there is absolutely no doubt of love that is mixed with adoration.

D.W. Winnicott mothers/mothers' roles reality realism love

It's only too easy to idealise a mother's job. We know well that every job has its frustrations and its boring routines and its ti mes of being the last thing anyone would choose to do. Well, why shouldn't the care of babies and children be thought of that way too?

D.W. Winnicott mothers/mothers' roles responsibilities